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How to increase your hits counts

April 3, 2007

Hello, I’m Billy Bob Rottencrotch and I make $3,145,053 a day from Googly adnonsense! I get about 3 million hits a day from my 325 web sites. I can show YOU how to become a millionare! The key is page views. You can increase your page views by following one of these steps!1) Be famous. If you’re on TV a lot, or you have a high level high tech job, the hits should come easy! Make sure you let people know you’re famous because even if you’re already famous promotion is the key!

2) Talk about famous people. Don’t just talk about them, be snarky! Post pictures of them in compromising situations and when they don’t want to be photographed, then make fun of how they look. Be sure to talk about whether your female famous people you talk about are gaining weight. HOT TOPIC! Then, when they become bulemic, be even more snarky! But remember, no one is perfect.

3) Be political! It’s preferable for your hit count to be a snarky, angry conservative, however a snarky, angry liberal can work for you if you just have to be that way (Sigh). Also, it really helps to be a famous snarky, angry conservative.
– either the ranting kind of post or the short one liner with links to other people who think just like you will work
attack attack attack!

4) Be wacky! We like wacky! Post links and pictures that are wacky, especially if the wackiness comes from other countries, because as we all know foreign people are really wacky. The best in my experience is to post the wacky things that Japanese people do because we all know how wacky they are, right? In fact, if you really want to make a bug hit count, move to Japan and make up stories about your adventures there. Make sure those adventures are really wacky and are accompanied by wacky pictures (like signs where they use wacky Engrish — ha ha, I love that word it is so wacky) or pictures of girls.

5) Remember, don’t be afraid to try and be like every other blogger out there. There are some things that people just never get tired of! If you see something that works, copy it!I hope this hints work wonders for your hits!

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