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756. f*** an asterisk.

August 8, 2007

Strange fist tap to Poplicks for breaking the news for me. I woke up in the middle of the night on the couch in Little Dork’s room and got up to check my Email and saw that, much to the chagrin of insufferably self-righteous White sportswriters across America, Henry Aaron’s home run record has fallen. Unfortunately, since someone was up hogging the TV *cough cough* I could not check Sports Center.

Again I say, I do not care much about steroid use in pro sports. All the horse hockey about the purity of the game and all that old timey bullshit harkens back to days that never were. There were always cheating, lying, abusive asswipes involved in professional sports, nothing has changed. There is money involved, how do you think people are going to behave?

Show of hands, how many of you have tried to hit a 90 MPH fastball? 80? 70? If any of you who have tried were able to consistently make contact around 2 to 3 times out of every 10 tries, you’re ready to be a major league baseball player. That’s a 70 to 80 % failure rate thereabouts (baseball stats is Verb’s thing, not mine). Think about that. There is a task out there so difficult that you can get paid to do it knowing that you will probably fail doing it most times.

The people who perform this task well don’t necessarily have to be cock strong. Making the ball meet the bat does require the ability to make the bat move real fast. However, to perform this task very well it requires coordination, great eye sight/depth perception, and perhaps more importantly, knowledge of the game and the ability to out think the pitcher. You gotta make contact to hit a home run. I know that’s a Yogi-ism, but it’s true, and so obviously true that people forget it.

Roids, cream, horse ballz, whatever Bonds took, if anything illegal at all, probably added a few years to his career in the National League (maybe without it he’s a DH for the Yankees or Red Sox, and getting paid less). I don’t agree that it made him hit more home runs. *

Bonds still has one more record to hold out for, Oh Sadaharu’s 868 NPL homers. Ganbatte! NOT!

Still, taking these substances are against the rules. Obviously I’m not big on rules . . . lol. However, if he’s caught, especially if he lied about it (duh), he must be punished for it. I don’t want that punishment to involve his record. It shouldn’t.

BTW, in case you’re wondering this is not a comeback post.

*Am I the only one who noticed? Why aren’t roids making these players any faster? Look what roids have done for 100 M champions over the years. These lazy ass baseball players should be FLYING around the bases, it should be nothing to hustle down the first base line on a ground ball about squeeze out an infield hit.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. August 8, 2007 4:22 pm

    You don’t think whatever he took helped him hit more home runs? You think he just naturally got much better at hitting home runs as he neared 40?

    The record’s not going anywhere and it’s not getting an asterisk. Barry wasn’t the only guy juicing and he wasn’t the first to do it. But he took the shit because of the end results in the record books. He was bound for the hall of fame already before he started. But what the roids did was make him the best hitter ever for 5 years or so. Without them he would most likely still be in the top 4 Home Run hitters of all time but he would not have broke Aaron’s record.

    But what’s done is done. There’s really nothing that can be said or done to change history. So Barry is the home run king and yes the record is tainted and yes white sportswriters are inordinately mad at him when there are a lot more guilty hands.

    This only matters for another 8 years or so until A-Rod breaks Barry’s record.

  2. August 8, 2007 4:33 pm

    Sorry, I have to nitpick:

    “Show of hands, how many of you have tried to hit a 90 MPH fastball? 80? 70?”

    Hitting an 80mph or 70mph fastball will in no way help you get to the majors.

    “If any of you who have tried were able to consistently make contact around 2 to 3 times out of every 10 tries, you’re ready to be a major league baseball player.”

    No, you need to make *contact* at least around 7 out of 10 at bats in order to get a hit 2 to 3 of those times. 150k’s in a season is on the high side but 350 k’s would be unacceptable!

    “The people who perform this task well don’t necessarily have to be cock strong. Making the ball meet the bat does require the ability to make the bat move real fast. However, to perform this task very well it requires coordination, great eye sight/depth perception, and perhaps more importantly, knowledge of the game and the ability to out think the pitcher. You gotta make contact to hit a home run. I know that’s a Yogi-ism, but it’s true, and so obviously true that people forget it.”

    So what? Nobody’s saying Barry Bonds wasnt a great player before taking steroids. He was probably a top 10 of all time. But steroids made him reverse time and get better instead of getting worse in his late 30s. McGwire, Sosa and Bonds don’t break 60 without steroids.

    Forget white sportswriters… Ryan Howard should be the maddest. Nobody even cared when he nearly broke 60 last year.

  3. August 8, 2007 6:17 pm

    Sorry I can’t reply longer. Trying to get out of the office. The 70/80 mph thing is there for effect. The important figure is 90. I didn’t want to get into ABs or K’s or swings per trips to the plate, just trying to illustrate the difficulty of hitting to the lay person or casual fan.

    I do think it’s possible to get better at hitting HRs as you get older. Experience is part of hitting. Aaron can’t be the only one to have longevity and success in later years. I think the effect of roids on baseball players is dubious, and probably mental. There are many guys out there on juice who wont experience longevity or great success. There are so many more things that effect hitting than raw power/ recovery ability (which steroids helps) that I feel comfortable enough arguing that if Bonds is guilty of violating the game’s rules, his punishment should not include wiping away his place in history, infamous or not.

    In my mind, Bonds, if heavily juiced, should also be a better player in the field, better legs, arm. He was never all that with the glove, but still. Look at Canseco, how many steals he got on roids. Well, I suppose we will find out in time what really happened.

  4. August 9, 2007 12:13 am

    I’m white, and I think Bonds is a cheater. Per a caller on 104.5 the Zone (and followed up on WebMD out of curiosity). Steroids improved the vision reduced the effects of Multiple Sclerosis. Why not a normal healthy human being?

    Even if they don’t improve hand/eye coordination, they speed recovery and artificially allow for more games played in a career.

    Even if they don’t…how many of those runs would’ve had warning track power if not for the juice? 50, 100?

    “Facts”: Bonds earned the record. O.J. is innocent. Bush went to an Ivy league school for his smarts, not connections. Clinton didn’t inhale.

    I can’t turn off my brain, just because a guy happens to be black.

  5. August 9, 2007 10:49 am

    Couple more things;

    Rafi, it isn’t quite accurate that Bonds got “better” in his late 30’s. Since 93, he’s was hitting HRs at about 50 a year (not a season, an actual calendar year). He had a couple of explosive seasons in his late 30’s, however he also had some crap years, too. He hit something like 250 bombs between 2000 and 04, but since then he’s hit 53. Apparently roids can’t fight turning 40.

    S&F, it is unfortunate you brought OJ into this. I’ll believe that “steroids” improves vision in healthy adults when I hear of a juice scandal breaking out in archery events (as opposed to the diazepam scandals). Actually, me Mum took ACTH (cortico roids, the most common medical one, it’s even in your anti-itch medicine) for an eye problem for years and still needs trifocals. Also, her bench press never went up. Steroids may work on MS and Optical Neuritis by temporarily halting the muscle degeneration (I would guess one would have to continue taking the drugs for life to prevent relapse). Doesn’t mean it can “improve” vision.

  6. August 9, 2007 6:35 pm

    Mark, there are a lot of different types of steroids. Not all are meant to improve muscle mass. I’ve taken steroids before to aid in breathing.

  7. August 9, 2007 6:37 pm

    Also, sorry I called you a moron over at MCB. I just think bringing race into the discussion of a black man using underhanded means to beat the record of another black man who had to endure legitimate racism and the segregated South to become an icon to generations of baseball fans of all colors just cheapens Aaron’s legacy. In case you haven’t noticed, a lot of Barry’s harshest critics have been black sportswriters.

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